‘One Billion Rising’ and teen dating violence
The organizers of the annual worldwide “One Billion Rising” event are calling on all women, men and children to harness their power and imagination in rising for justice Feb. 14.
People will gather at Kit Carson Park at 3:30 p.m. and march to Taos Plaza at 4 p.m., where an inspiring dance will be held. Be prepared to feel energized. The event is free and open to everyone. For more information, visit CAV’s Facebook page or call (575) 758-8082.
Teen dating
February marks the national “Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.” Each year, more than one in 10 teens who have been on a date were physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend. Teens who experience dating violence are at increased risk of substance abuse, depression, poor academic performance and future victimization. Dating violence should not happen at all.
There are things we can do as parents, family members, friends, mentors and caring community members to prevent teen dating violence and abuse. The first thing to be aware of is what it is.
Teen dating violence is using physical abuse (hitting, slapping, biting, strangling), sexual assault (unwanted touching or kissing, forced sexual acts) and psychological or emotional abuse (stalking, threats, name-calling, spreading rumors, isolating, intimidating) in a dating relationship in efforts to control the dating partner. The abuse can be by a current or former dating partner and be in person or through texting, Snapchat or other social media.
Both teen boys and girls use physical and emotional violence in dating relationships. However, girls are more likely to be sexually assaulted, suffer serious physical injuries and be physically afraid of their dating partner. Girls in abusive relationships often are afraid to require their partner use a condom and have a higher risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases than girls in healthy, respectful relationships.
Because many teens do not tell friends or family about dating violence out of fear or shame, one of the most important things you can do is keep open lines of communication with your children. Some teens think abusive behavior is normal or even flattering. Young women may find their boyfriend’s constant texts and demands for immediate response as signs of love and devotion. Some things we can do to eliminate teen dating violence include:
• Be a role model. Healthy relationships are built on respect, trust and equality. Treat your children and others with respect and kindness.
• Talk to your children about healthy relationships before they start dating. The website loveisrespect.org has great resources for adults and teens about healthy relationships and how to start that conversation. Teach teens that healthy partners are not resentful of their partner’s other interests, friends or accomplishments; they know both people need time alone or to be with friends and family.
• Know the warning signs of unhealthy relationships and teach young teens to let you know if any of these are happening: constant monitoring, explosive temper, jealousy, possessiveness and pressure to send explicit photos.
• Watch for signs a teen may be a victim of an abusive relationship: changes in behavior; falling grades; avoiding friends, family and usual activities; making excuses for their partner’s behavior; and unexplained injuries.
• Watch for signs a teen may be abusive: violent temper, putting down their date, acting extremely jealous, preventing their partner from hanging out with friends and family or frequently checking up to demand information about where their partner is and with whom.
Williams is the executive director of Community Against Violence (CAV), which offers free, confidential support and assistance for adult and child survivors of sexual and domestic violence, dating violence and stalking; community and school violence prevention programs; re-education BIP groups for domestic violence offenders; shelter; transitional housing; and community thrift store. To talk with someone or get information on services available, call CAV’s 24-hour hotline at (575) 758-9888 or go to taoscav.org.
